Dear regret, thank you for changing my life

Every morning I wake up with the awareness that life is passing by so fast and the question ” Have I done all I wanted to do? “grows stronger.

I have always said I have no regrets. I made the best decisions I could knowing what I knew in the moment.

But knowing what I know today, If I were to do it all again would I do it differently?

A part of me says yes.

I would start dancing at the age of 5, start camping, hiking and climbing at the age of 10, and practice differently as a volleyball player. I would study sport psychology, perform as a dancer and work outdoors motivating people to reach their full potential. I would travel at a younger age and live in multiple cities.

Maybe, I’d have a better life.

It all sounds amazing but a part of me would want me to relive my life exactly as I did.

There’s a lot I gained that I would never give up. A lot I would have missed out on.

I wouldn’t have met the people I did, cried with them and laughed till I couldn’t breath. 

I wouldn’t have been to the places I’ve been to, learned the lessons I did and enjoyed the wins I did. 

I wouldn’t have experienced the same loves and heartbreaks, the same failures and achievements.

I wouldn’t have been the person I am today.

So I don’t want a do over and I know I cannot have one but I want to use that imaginary do over to be more myself. 

I want it to inform how I spend the rest of the time I have on this earth.

I want to wake up, pick one of my dreams and start making it a reality.

It takes a lot of work, practice and time.

It’s scary and uncomfortable to start something new and fail at it over and over.

It’s also amazing to see yourself learning and changing with every moment.

Every time I get on the dance floor and get a new move right and every time I ‘m up on on a wall and feel my body moving more efficiently, I get a sense of satisfaction that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

There are days and even weeks when I wake up and I can’t find the motivation to get any of it done but soon enough I find it again because I know I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t. I would never forgive myself if I didn’t allow myself to try and learn.

So do not settle because it’s comfortable, or because you’re exhausted, give yourself time, take a deep breath and get back on that path; walk through the uncomfortable regardless of how far you’ll make it. 

Take small steps, do the research, learn the right skills and watch yourself change.

You shouldn’t drown in your regrets and you cannot ignore them but you can use them to be your best self.

As you start this week, I want you to ask yourself “If I could do it all over again, what would I do?” And use that to decide what you’re going to do next.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s